I watched Michael Phelps win his seventh gold medal last night. I hadn’t seen any of the Olympics yet, but happened to turn there just as they were starting the event. It didn’t take a swim coach to see that he won that race with heart muscles-by the sheer will to win. His heart was the only thing which separated him from his second place opponent.
Which brought a thought to mind, “God isn’t interested in our performance – He wants our hearts.” I don’t think God looks at our achievements or our good works so much as He wants to know the motivation behind our performance.
This week, I was faced with a fairly major decision. Not life threatening, not gut wrenching, just a fairly important decision. I weighed all the facts. I sought godly, wise counsel from those close to me. I prayed and asked for God’s leading and direction. I went to the Bible to see if there was a principle which would point me in the right direction. I searched for the peace of knowing God’s will. It didn’t come.
No matter how desperately I asked, no matter how many times I knocked, there was no answer. I didn’t sleep much as I mulled over all the pros and cons. I fasted and prayed, leaving myself open to hearing God. I searched my heart as deeply as I know how – and still I didn’t experience the peace which tells me God blesses the decision.
Finally, I came to a decision which gave me a little peace and started to move forward. I prayed, “Lord, if this isn’t the right way – PLEASE move me.” And then, I got peace. I’m still unsure this is the right path, but I am sure that God will move me if He needs too.
Why? Because He has my heart. My heart is truly devoted to doing His Will. I’m not the wisest, or the smartest, the most capable, or the best at anything – BUT, my heart desperately wants to be in God’s will. I honestly can say, I would surrender anything He would ask of me. I’m more convinced this is true than ever after experiencing my frustration at not hearing Him this week.
I felt almost helpless without His direction. I think that’s just where I’m supposed to be. Maybe it isn’t so much about the decision as about the heart behind the decision?
I’m sure there are times when God has a definite path He wants us to follow, but I’m also convinced there are times when it’s more about where your heart is than about which direction to go.