There’s a subject that’s been on my mind a lot lately and that is physical fitness. After seven years in the dark nights, I find that I let myself go quite a bit.
Seven years ago I was very fit, ate healthy, and exercised five to six days a week. I loved the feeling of being fit. I wasn’t skinny by any stretch – it was just no part of my body jiggled. When I waved goodbye, only my hand moved.
When I entered into the dark nights, (you can read the series starting with this post), exercise was the first thing to fall off my plate. It wasn’t because I wanted it to fall off, though. Now I see that it was God who not so gently took if off my plate. Injury after injury, illness after illness plagued my workout schedule. Within a year, I could barely run any distance before I gave out.
Now I see that God took exercise away from me to show that my fitness had become a god (with the little ‘g’). It was a source of comfort and pride to me that I was fit and trim. It made me feel powerful. God wanted to show me how something healthy and good could become something I desired more than Him.
Here it is seven years later, yeah – I’m not much of a quick learner, and God has finally led me out of the dark nights. I’m thirty pounds heavier, addicted to sugar, and very out of shape. Although I’m convicted to get healthy again, I don’t feel the contempt for my very untrim body that I did before.
Yes, I need to exercise and eat healthy again, but I no longer feel the desperate desire to fit back into my old clothes. It no longer drives me like a crazy fiend anymore. Being freed from the “gotta get skinny because I hate my body” thoughts is very powerful.