I’ve stepped into a new season of my spiritual journey.  I call it, abundant peace, a place where I am living out the next steps of what God is calling me to do.

I’ve started working for Adventures in Missions (AIM), and working on something called, “Kingdom Dreams“.   We are building a network, a community of people who have Kingdom dreams, something God has placed on their hearts to do.  We want to help them seek, find, and live out those dreams.

I’ve been keeping up with my new blog, http://terifrana.myadventures.org/ and telling of this new adventure God has placed before me.  I pray you check it out and sign up to receive updates.

As for Restless Peace, I have nothing more to add at this point.  Maybe I’ll be there again sometime and revisit it.  I hope to write a book about that part of the journey some day.

Many blessings to you all.  Many adventures to come…

There I was, minding my own business, doing church, serving, reading my Bible, engaging in Bible studies, being an all around good Christian and *BAM*, God came in and disrupted my groove.  I used to be cool.  Now, I’m this weirdo that says things like, “I’m feel God is leading me to pray about you and your mother right now.”  FREAKY!

You either get that look of, “where is the door?”  or you get tears.  Neither are terribly great conversation conductors.

The craziest thing about all this weirdness I got going on now is that…I really like it.  There – it’s out…I said it…  I like it.  I like the freedom I’m experiencing.  I like not being so afraid of what everyone thinks of me (although I still want you to like me!)  I like seeing God’s hand actively at work in my life.

Matt Chandler has the best quote about spiritual growth:

“He grabbed hold of every part of me and has absolutely ruined me for anything but Him. The process of sanctification has been and still is quite often a very difficult one. No one told me (or maybe they did) that Jesus wanted my heart. I thought there was going to be some behavior modification and some new friends but I didn’t understand how He was going to search and destroy in me anything that wasn’t of Him. Nor did I understand how dark my heart truly was and how out of fear, pride and arrogance I would argue, complain and resist almost every advance of the Holy Spirit to reconcile every part of my being into holiness.”

This journey hasn’t been the nice, neat, comfortable ride I was lead to believe it would be.  It’s been messing, often painful, and rather uncomfortable.  However, I find myself more and more comfortable with my life not looking like I thought it should.  NUTTY.

Nice, neat, and comfortable is also utterly boring.  There is never a dull moment out here in daffy land!

I’m RUINED…

God never asks us if we are capable or gifted or talented enough to do His will.  He doesn’t ask if we’re strong enough or wise enough to handle it.  He wants our hearts…our passion…  He simply asks, “Are you IN?”  Heart, mind, soul, and strength.  R U IN?

Did you catch that play on words?  Ruined and R U IN?  Cleeeverrrr….

Does Jesus get all of you?  R U IN for being ruined for anything else but Him?  Try it.  It may be a bit wacky but it will never be boring!

Ever taken one of those kinds of hits?

Yeah.  Thought so.

I’ve been riding the emotional rollercoaster – sadness, anger, worry, forgiveness, back to sadness.  I’m grieving a great loss.  And just now coming out of the fog.

This time it’s been a little different because I’ve sensed something new in my rollercoaster ride…JOY.   It makes no sense.  I am NOT joyful over this.

It took me a little soul searching to put my finger on the new emotion.  It was certainly not happiness because my circumstances kind of suck.  I’m not happy about them.  What I experienced was not a by-product of the relief of closure.  Joy and relief definitely aren’t in the same emotional ballpark.  Not happiness.  Not relief.  Not indigestion.

Joy?  Huh.  Really?

As I unpacked the concept of suffering and joy existing on the same rollercoaster ride, I realized that they are always interconnected in the Bible.  Rarely do you see the word joy without the concept of suffering too.

“and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.”  Isaiah 61:3a

I know this is going to sound really, really weird and probably borders on certifiable, but the joy I’m experiencing in my suffering just IS…there is no logical explanation for it.  It feels like it’s springing from a well somewhere deep in my soul and I’m not cranking on the wheel to bring it up.

Okay, so that was really “out there”, but I have no other way to describe it.

So, in God’s economy you deposit suffering and you receive joyful dividends.  Deposit shame and receive grace.  Worry and get courage.  Fear and get freedom.

I think I like these returns on my investments.

How about you?  Any suffering, shame, worry, or fear burning a hole in your pocket?

I’m still pondering the human need for comfort, control, and power (see last post). Here are more thoughts…

WHY THOSE TEMPTATIONS?
Why was Jesus tempted like He was in the desert? Why comfort, control, and power? I think that they are the outward symptoms of a “cancer” we all suffer from. Allow me put on a scientific hat for a moment…

If you look at our human desire for comfort, control, and power under a microscope, you’ll see they are made of cells called fear and pride. If you use a higher powered lens to look closely at the cells, you’ll see that fear and pride are made up of tiny molecules of distrust of God.

In the simplest of terms, we do not trust ourselves completely to God. If you’re human, you can’t avoid this. It was wired into our DNA the moment God gave us free-will. Distrust of God is what drove Eve to put the fruit to her lips. She was tempted by power and control and didn’t rebuke them with her trust in God like Jesus did.

God promises He has the perfect plan and purpose for our lives. He says He will provide every need to do His Will because He loves us beyond our comprehension. He promises us if we trust and follow Him, He will lead us into abundant life.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,” Ephesians 3:20

What’s inherent in those promises is that this abundant life will probably look different than what we’re envisioning for ourselves. Chances are, God’s dream for our life won’t like exactly like the “American Dream”. Yet, God promises it will be better and more fulfilling.

What if the abundant life God promises is different from own life goals? What if what God wants to do through us, by HIS power at work within us, is the extravagance God wants to lavish on us? What if our need for comfort, control, and power is actually costing us the abundant life God promises?

“[ Wake Up from Your Sleep ] Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.” Ephesians 5:1 The Message

I’ve been reading about the testing of Jesus in the desert. It came to me that Jesus was tempted with these things (see Matthew 4):

Comfort – Jesus could have turned anything into food or water. He could have had any comfort He desired – it was all available to Him. But, for some reason forgoing comfort to rely on God was more important to Him.
Control – I envision Satan giving Jesus a wink, and with a smirk saying, “Jump – come on – You know nothing will happen. The angels will save you.” In essence, if you do this, God will do this – an expected outcome from a controlled input.
Power – Jesus could have had all the power of the world, except power over Satan. The only way Jesus would have power over Satan is if He willingly sacrificed His life.

The Response
Jesus responds with God’s heart on the subject (from the NKJV):

Comfort – Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.
Control – You shall not tempt the LORD your God.
Power – You shall worship the LORD your God, and Him only you shall serve.

Jesus rebuked every temptation with His trust in His Father.

Once Jesus was tempted, tested, and past the test – He was then deemed, “PREPARED” to begin His ministry. Jesus ran into these same temptations during His three year ministry and was prepared to overcome them.

Jesus obviously didn’t live comfortably. Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” Matthew 8:20

Jesus didn’t have to go to the cross. He could have prayed for His own will to be done in the Garden of Gethsemane. Really, Jesus didn’t have to even stay up on the cross. He could have controlled the outcome anyway He wanted.

Many, many times Jesus was tempted with power, success, and prestige. But over and over again, Jesus chose to serve only God. He is God yet He chose to relinquish His Kingdom, be born in a barn, and serve all mankind.

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45